MORE to BROWSE - Pages that might be of Interest

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

4th October 1066

On 14th October 1066 Harold Godwineson, Harold II, our last English King, died in battle attempting to protect his kingdom and his people from foreign invasion. Subsequent history, written by the conquering Normans, scratched his short - and legitimate - reign from official records or returned entries to his previous title of Earl of Wessex. Kings became numbered from William I, ignoring all previous Saxon names.
For me, Harold II is a hero. He died fighting for freedom, and I honoured him by writing, to the best of my ability, a novel that reflected the people and events that led to the Battle of Hastings.
In memory of Harold II's efforts, I will be posting some excerpts over the next few days.


§ York  - 4th October 1066
(Harold's army has defeated Harald Hardrada, and Tostig - Harold's own brother - at Stamford Bridge, Yorkshire. 
Harold has returned to York...

Come the fourth day of the October month, the feasting and merry-making was ended, the men of the fyrd returning to their homes, the noblemen picking up the abruptly severed threads of government. Wounds were healing, life returning to normality. Winter would soon be coming, and there was always much for a man to be doing to ensure the well-being of house place and livestock before the first snows fell.
For himself, Harold had felt little joy in the victory. How could he take pleasure in the slaying of his own brother? A brother who had been fighting in fury against him? He stood in the quiet solitude of the minster, looking down at the tomb. Aye, he was pleased at the splendid achievement of the men who had marched north so quickly, who had fought with exceptional bravery - what king would not be justifiably proud of such heroes? But the fight, for his own heart, was tainted by too much sorrow.
“I trust you are satisfied. Now that you have no one to stand against you.”
Harold raised his head. His sister Edith was standing on the opposite side of the graveplace, her expression one of cool contempt. Her face had thinned these last months; she looked pinched and hag-bound, like a frustrated mean-spirited spinster. An unfulfilled woman who had never found happiness, nor was ever likely to. He ought to feel sorrow for her, but there was no room left within him for anything beyond loathing.
He had not seen Edith since the funeral day - his coronation day - when she had swept from Westminster, taking all she could carry with her to Winchester, the Queen’s city. By right, Winchester ought be Alditha’s, but Harold had not had the opportunity to claim it from his sister. And he knew, were he to do so, he would have another spiteful fight on his hands, the possible spilling of yet more English blood. Edith would never, willingly, give up her dower land to the woman who had replaced her. Regarding her sour, condemning expression, Harold realised, all these years later, why Edward had so hated his mother for her refusal to give up and retire quietly.
 “There is no point in my saying that this saddens me,” he answered, gesturing to the grave. “You would not believe me.”
Edith had arrived two days previously, her entourage of five-hundred men sweeping into York, demanding hospitality for the lady within the palace. Morkere, his wounds paining him, his mind occupied with settling the trouble Tostig had stirred, would rather have kicked her backside over the sea with those humiliated Norwegians, but she had been Queen to King Edward and therefore required respect.
She must have been on the road well before the twenty-fifth, the day of battle. Prudently - in case she answered with something he would prefer not to hear - Harold had not asked how she came to be riding to where she expected their brother to be residing. And with her so many men bearing arms and armour. That she had come to aid Tostig did not need to be asked; she had been about to commit treason, but it mattered for naught now. Tostig was dead and she had no champion, her cause was ended and already beginning to moulder beneath this granite slab.
“He was never a favourite brother, Edith, but for all that, he was my brother. Our mother’s son. I had no wish for this. It was not of my doing. His own greed caused it. Not me.”
Edith’s response was to step around the grave and slap Harold’s cheek, the sharp, bare sound ricocheting from the stone walls, echoing across the nave and chancel. Monks gathered in a western chapel glanced up, concerned.
“You did nothing for him!” she screeched. “You betrayed him by making no attempt to regain his earldom, to help him salvage his dignity! And then you pushed him down to his knees by setting Edward’s crown upon your own head - and still you made no effort to help him!” Again she slapped him, the force of her anger and grief thrusting behind the blow.
Harold’s head reeled, a bruise instantly reddening from eye to jaw, but he did not move, said only, with such great sorrow, “He could have had anything he wanted, Edith, had he only asked. Anything, except Northumbria.”
She spat at him, a globule of saliva that landed on his cheek and dribbled into the trail of his moustache. Turning on her heel, she stalked from the minster, her boot heels tap-tapping in her haste. Outside, the sun was shining as if it were midsummer; the weather was most assuredly turned inside out this year. Irritably she called for her mare and was preparing to be boosted into the saddle when the clatter of hooves, coming fast along the road that ran towards the London gate, halted her movement. Edith’s guard, monks, the minster folk, men and women of York, housecarls and soldiers all turned to watch the rider come galloping through the wide-flung gateway, sparks flying from the shoes of his horse as he hauled at the reins. The lathered, sweat-dripping animal came down on one knee; blood oozed from his flanks where the spurs had driven him. The rider flung himself from the saddle and pausing merely to ask the whereabouts of the King, took the steps in one stride and ran into the minster.
Curious, Edith followed him into the shadowed coolness. She watched him run the length of the aisle and stumble to his knees in front of Harold, his lips moving before the King had barely registered his presence. Standing within the doorway, her back to the sunlight, Edith saw Harold’s face drain chalk pale, his hand go to his sword, the fingers clutch tight around it. He asked a few questions, which were answered with equal despatch.
The King nodded his head once and headed for the doorway. He brushed past Edith without seeing her, shouting for his horse. He mounted by vaulting into the saddle and heeled straight into a canter, giving simultaneous command that the officers of his housecarls were to be summoned.
“What is it?” men were asking, perplexed, a little fearful. “What is wrong?”
Ealdred, Archbishop of York, came hurrying, his vestments gathered into his fists so that he might run the faster. He put his hand out to signal Harold to stop. “What has happened, my Lord? What tragedy? What is wrong?”
“We are in dire need of your prayers, my Lord Archbishop,” Harold said quickly, as he hauled the beast to halt. “I must ride south immediately. Duke William has landed his fleet at Pevensey.” 

(unedited excerpt)

Next instalments:
9th October - Here
10th October - Here
13th October - Here



Available on Amazon
(UK Title) Harold the King

(US Title) I Am The Chosen King



Lovely to have met everyone at the annual re-enactment
at Battle, Sussex

Previously posted 1066 related articles that may be of interest




Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Vets and Pets Aplenty!

Please welcome my Tuesday Talk guest
Vet, Malcolm Welshman 


Join novice UK vet, Paul Mitchell, in six months of hilarious escapades he experiences while working at Prospect House Veterinary Hospital. He's confronted by a ravenous pig while sunbathing naked in a cornfield. He locks jaws with a caiman with scale rot, and battles with Doug, a vicious miniature donkey that's always sinking his teeth into him. 
It ends with a Christmas pet blessing which erupts into pandemonium as frightened pets and owners scatter through the pews.
Throughout his adventures, Paul is loyally supported by the team at the hospital - in particular Beryl, the elderly one-eyed receptionist, and, Lucy the junior nurse - together with whom he shares this merry-go-round of mayhem. It's a gripping, fast page-turner that's guaranteed to keep animal lovers entranced.

Over to you Malcolm to tell us a bit more....


HORSES TAKE ME FOR A RIDE.

Horses are no fools. They can sense when someone is uneasy in their presence. The prick of their ears. Here’s one coming. The snort as they look down their nose at you. Wally’s arrived. The pawing of the ground. Let’s kick him in the nuts. 

And that’s why, as a budding vet, I was apprehensive of working with them. And the reason why as a raw student, very green behind the ears, I felt it wise to understand the beast better by learning to ride one. 

So I embarked on a series of lessons while still at vet school. ‘I take it you’ve not ridden before?’ said the tall, sylph-like instructress, eyeing me up and down, the crop in her one hand being tapped thoughtfully in the palm of the other. Very dominatrix. ‘I’ll put you on Nancy,’ she said.

Nancy turned out to be one of the more elderly residents of the riding school. One that should  have been turned out to grass years back. Long in the tooth, grey in  the muzzle, with a look in her milky glazed eyes that suggested the time was fast approaching when she’d be leaping her final hurdle into the great Knacker’s Yard in the sky should her arthritic old legs ever manage it. Meanwhile she was saddled with the likes of me.

Mindful of  how one should approach a horse, exuding confidence in your stride, talking quietly and calmly, holding out your  hand to allow the horse to sniff it before you stroke its neck, I did all  this to Nancy and was rewarded  with two nostril-barrels of snot and a loud fart.

Not a very auspicious start.

Once mounted, it was cue-time to make Nancy walk.
‘Nudge her with your lower legs. But gently does it,’ barked the  instructress. 
Nancy didn’t budge. 
‘Urge her forward with your heels. Again use the softly, softly approach. Don’t kick her. She won’t  respond to anything too violent.’
Nancy remained stationary.

The instructress marched up to the horse, whacked her rump smartly with her crop and snapped, ‘Move your arse you lazy bugger.’
Nancy walked.

Several times she started to decelerate as if running out of gas, though judging from what she let rip from her rear end at regular intervals as she plodded round the sand school, there was plenty in reserve.
Each time she slowed down, the instructress bellowed, ‘Keep your leg on, Malcolm. Keep your leg on.’
I hadn’t the slightest clue what the command meant. Did she think I had a false limb in danger of unscrewing? But in the hope that the right part of my anatomy would obey her instruction, I clenched all heels, calves, knees, thighs and buttocks, the actions of which, instead of keeping Nancy moving as the command had intended, promptly brought her to a shuddering halt with a final fart. Lesson over.



As it happened, my first equine patient once I’d qualified was not a horse but a miniature donkey called Doug. And he was a beast. A real horror. It was as if, when the characteristics for a good donkey were being drawn from the gene pool, it were the dregs left lurking at the bottom that surfaced in Doug. 

To look at, he was an impressive little chap. Standing at three feet tall, he was a spotted skewbald – mainly white with some grey patches over the cross on his shoulders, and with black tips to his huge, upright ears. 

I was called in by his owner, Jacantha Stokes, to check him over as she was worried he had a skin infection. As soon as he saw me, Doug rolled his eyes, pulled back his head and trotted off across the paddock behind him with a loud snort. 
He then disappeared into a field shelter from which he emitted a loud ‘Hee-Haw’ – his equivalent of ‘Come and get me if you can.’

That’s when the fun and games began. Jacantha lifted a halter and lead off the gate post. ‘’Fraid he’s not very well halter-trained,’ she confessed. ‘But maybe we’ll manage.’
‘Right little fella, no messing around, eh?’ I said, as we drew level with the entrance to the field shelter and I stepped slowly towards him, my knees slightly bent, my arms held out wide. 

Chance was a fine fling when Doug took his chance to dodge me and attempted a giant leap for donkey-kind. I saw this barrel of equine flesh become airborne and fly towards me like Pegasus on Speed. His chest connected with mine and we both collapsed to the ground with him on top of me. As he scrabbled to his feet, I lunged up and threw my arms round his hindquarters in a rugby tackle, only to find myself being dragged several yards across the paddock, before my weight forced him to the ground again, where he began to thrash.
At which point, Jacantha sailed across holding out the halter and attached lead rope. Now astride Doug, I turned to snatch them from her. As I did so, a searing pain shot through my left hand.

‘Ouch!’ I roared, looking down to discover my whole hand was in Doug’s mouth, his incisors clamped to it. ‘Why you bugger,’ I shouted, pulling my hand free. I forced the halter over his muzzle and secured it. I then rolled off him and staggered to my feet. He did likewise. We 
both stood there, quivering, our chests heaving, both done in, knackered. But my close encounter with Doug had enabled me to confirm my suspicions that Doug was suffering from sweet itch. An allergic re-action to midge bites. I advised Jacantha to buy a good insect repellent. ‘One that you’ll only need to apply weekly,’ I said, adding, ‘though I realise it will still be a bit of a challenge.
Doug’s ears shot up and his eyes gleamed with devilish delight.

When writing Pets Aplenty with my alter-ego, Paul Mitchell, also apprehensive about dealing with horses, there had to be a place for that devious donkey. So Doug does indeed make a gripping appearance. He reappears in the final chapter to charge into a church where a Pets Blessing is being held. 
Pandemonium ensues.




Praise for Pets Aplenty:

"...Full of fun, action and laughs and begins with young vet Paul Mitchell dressed up as a fluffy pink bunny! But it's all in the name of charity, and there's lots more hilarious adventures to come as we follow the day-to-day life of this lovable character in his difficult job as a vet."

"Pets Aplenty is a thoroughly enjoyable romp through the hayfields of novice vet Paul Mitchell’s rural veterinary practice."


"Take a loveable goofy vet with a heart of gold, plonk him in some crazy animal situations and laugh out loud as he reacts as only he can."




Read more on Malcolm's Website 
Twitter  @MalcolmWelshman
Facebook 

Amazon.co.uk Kindle £1.99

Amazon.co.uk Paperback

Amazon.com Kindle $3.33

Amazon.com Paperback

Pets Aplenty is published by Austin Macauley