Those Scam Nuisance Calls...

Silly things to  (hopefully) make you laugh,
well at least chuckle ...
smile slightly?

What you see is 

what you'll get 

here on Saturdays... 

Today... you know those irritating spam calls?

I've had a spate of them again recently. Apparently:

1) My Amazon.com Prime Account has been renewed. If I want to cancel Press 1.

Yeah right, and amass a huge phone bill (pressing 1 will probably charge the (expensive) call to your account) Let's face it Amazon is NOT going to contact you about this matter. It's a SCAM

2) My loft insulation may be unsuitable. Did I know there's a government grant to replace it? 

Yeah right. Let's face it a government department is NOT going to call me about loft insulation. It's a SCAM

3) SO very kind of busy BT to phone me to tell me that hackers have compromised my system and that because of this BT is going to cut me off.

Oh come on BT doesn't even phone you when it's supposed to! It's a SCAM

Personally, if I'm not too busy, I enjoy winding these people up. 

My record for keeping someone talking is 25 minutes. 

For the computer one (compromised by hackers) pretend to do everything they ask you to for WINDOWS. (When they say 'what can you see on your screen?' answer with 'What am I supposed to see?') Just respond, 'Yes, done that' etc ... eventually ask 'This is all for Windows right?' 

Then tell them, 'But I've got a MAC' 

It really annoys them!

Amazon: IF you're lucky enough to get a real person ask them

" is this for .com or .co.uk? (or .au, or .ca or .fr ...)" That flusters them. Let them waffle a bit, then tell them: "but I don't have Internet access so how can I have Amazon Prime?"

Have a laugh - wind THEM up. Believe me it's much more fun than getting cross.

HOWEVER -

NEVER, NEVER GIVE YOUR PERSONAL 

or

YOUR BANK DETAILS.

If you must give them an answer make it up

I give my library card number instead of a credit card

or tell them my year of birth is 1853 

(they take ages to cotton on)

or 

I live in a caravan so how can I have loft insulation?

leave a comment below if you have any other suggestions 

for winding up the nuisance call scammers!

come back next Saturday for something s to chuckle over!

*** *** 

Helen's latest release 

A new edition with new additional scenes

When the only choice is to run, where do you run to?

When the only sound is the song of the sea, do you listen?

Or do you drown in the embrace of a mermaid?

Throughout childhood, Jesamiah Mereno has suffered the bullying of his elder half-brother. Then, not quite fifteen years old, and on the day they bury their father, Jesamiah hits back. In consequence, he flees his home, changes his name to Jesamiah Acorne, and joins the crew of his father’s seafaring friend, Captain Malachias Taylor, aboard the privateer, Mermaid.

He makes enemies, sees the ghost of his father, wonders who is the Cornish girl he hears in his mind – and tries to avoid the beguiling lure of a sensuous mermaid...

An early coming-of-age tale of the young Jesamiah Acorne, set in the years before he becomes a pirate and Captain of the Sea Witch.

https://viewbook.at/WhenMermaidSings

and a cosy mystery set in 1970s north London 

The first in a new series of quick-read,
cosy mysteries set in the 1970s.
A Mirror Murder 
https://getbook.at/MirrorMurder

Eighteen-year-old library assistant Jan Christopher’s life is to change on a rainy Friday evening in July 1971, when her legal guardian and uncle, DCI Toby Christopher, gives her a lift home after work. Driving the car, is her uncle’s new Detective Constable, Laurie Walker – and it is love at first sight for the young couple.

But romance is soon to take a back seat when a baby boy is taken from his pram,  a naked man is scaring young ladies in nearby Epping Forest, and an elderly lady is found, brutally murdered...

Are the events related? How will they affect the staff and public of the local library where Jan works – and will a blossoming romance survive a police investigation into  murder?

Reviews

“A delightful read about an unexpected murder in North East London.” Richard Ashen (South Chingford Community Library)

“Lots of nostalgic, well-researched, detail about life in the 1970s, which readers of a certain age will lap up; plus some wonderful, and occasionally hilarious, ‘behind the counter’ scenes of working in a public library, which any previous or present-day library assistant will recognise!” Reader Review

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