27 August 2019

Tuesday Talk .... Real Love: A Matter of Heart or Head...'Moon Water' with Pam Webber


On the review site Discovering Diamonds today, we are reviewing Pam Webber's latest novel Moon Water - and taking part in her virtual Book Tour - so over to Pam...

Pam Webber
signing books in Richmond, Virginia
Do you ever wonder what constitutes real love? Why some loving relationships last a lifetime and others do not? This question is so universal novelists frequently use their character's search for real love as a central plot or storyline. In my debut novel, The Wiregrass, Nettie, a devout tomboy, is struggling against the unwanted physical and emotional changes caused by puberty. What she thought she knew about love, sex and relationships becomes confused. While she tries to make sense of what is happening to her, Nettie meets Mitchell, a handsome but troubled young man who knows better than most what real love is and is not.


What Love Is And Is Not
In the sequel, Moon Water, Nettie and her beau, Andy, are beginning to explore their sexuality, yet stopping on the good side of bad. Andy loves her, but Nettie hesitates to return the commitment. She’s not sure what love is or what it’s supposed to feel like. Most important, she is afraid what she is feeling won’t last. When Andy breaks up with her, Nettie is thrown into a summer of discontent. She embarks on an emotional rollercoaster ride as she tries to understand love, and hopes fate will give her another chance.

Is real love a matter of fate? A lucky roll of the dice that puts the love of your life in front of you at just the right moment in time. Or is it something else? Romantics would say fate or something like it plays a role whenever two people find a lifetime of happiness together. However, the more scientific among us would most likely challenge that opinion.

Love, Heart, Together, Valentine'S Day

Science, Psychology, or Fate
Science and psychology tell us love at first sight is real. Or, rather the hormonal reactions that make you desire a relationship with someone you just met is real. Love at first sight begins and ends with these chemical reactions in the brain, not with magic in the heart. The stronger the hormonal reaction, the stronger the desire. The stronger the desire, the greater potential to form a relationship.

Science also says what we call love can be divided into three types: attraction, lust, and attachment. Each type is dependent on a specific cocktail of hormones released by the body’s endocrine system. And, each type is important in a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

When you are attracted to someone, elevated levels of chemicals called catecholamines are released. These chemicals make your heart to pound, your eyes to dilate, your breathing to speed up, and your palms sweat. Combined, these physical signs can make you think you’re in love.

Attraction can occur in concert with lust, which is the primitive drive for sexual gratification. Lust is dependent on the male hormone, testosterone, and the female hormone, estrogen. Since these hormone levels start rising in puberty, it is easy to understand why the young confuse attraction and lust with love.

The last type is attachment. It is the only one that involves making a commitment to another person. Commitment comes with a cost in terms of freedom, time, money, obligation, and sacrifice. Consequently, some choose not to attach despite having feelings of attraction and lust. Not surprisingly, attachment is predictor of how long a relationship will last. In Moon Water, Nettie realizes her resistance to committing to Andy is seeded in what it will cost her.

Couple, Romance, Love, Kiss, Lovers

Does Love Still Have Secrets?
While these hormone cocktails make us desire a relationship, fluctuations in them are just as capable of blowing a relationship apart. Science and psychology have yet to identify what triggers these erratic fluctuations. Nor, have they been able to explain why some committed relationships are strong enough to survive these hormonal storms and others are not. What is it that bonds some couples together so tightly they are able to withstand the dramatic influence of hormonal responses beyond their control?

Could it be that real love has a few secrets left after all? Secrets beyond the ability of science and psychology to name and frame, much less explain. I hope so. I like believing there is still mystery and magic in real love. As a novelist, it’s what keeps me writing.

Pam Webber is author of the bestselling debut Southern novel, The Wiregrass and its standalone sequel, Moon Water. She lives in the Northern Shenandoah Valley near the setting for her stories.

Visit Pam at www.pamwebber.com

Buy the book:


Read the
Discovering Diamonds Review


Previous Book Tour Stop:
26th August: Big Blend Radio Podcast
Next:
28th August: Southern Writers Magazine 

for the full tour Click HERE 

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